10 things entrepreneurs can learn from Freddie Mercury!

Yep. After reading the title of this blog post, you probably figured already but Ben and I went ahead and watched The Bohemian Rhapsody this past weekend.

And boy! Are we in love with Freddie Mercury and our existing love for all the Queen songs has been newly ignited (okay, almost all, because I still don’t get the Bicycle song until this day ^^)!

After the movie, we went for some fusion Korean Bibimbap and Mexican dinner and chatted like always about our impressions of the movie and the story-line.

By the way, if you’re an entrepreneur and marketer, I highly recommend analyzing and dissecting the story lines of movies you’ve just seen.

Think back to what parts stuck out to you, where the theater audience ‘ahs and oohs‘ and why that might have been the case, etc. You learn a lot about creating a great story from watching great (and not so great) movies. Ma favorite!

Anyway, back to today’s post ;).

Here are the 10 things an entrepreneur can learn from Freddie Mercury:

(1) UTTER SELF-CONFIDENCE

“I won’t be a rockstar, I will be a Legend.”

Granted, probably none of you that are reading this right now ever wanted to be a rockstar. Or, maybe you did :)? Be sure to comment with what kind of rock star if that was the case #badassalert .

Regardless, it is save to say that especially as an entrepreneur, you want to build something legendary. You want to leave your mark on this world.

Am I right? Yes? Great!

Now, to leave your mark on this world it is SO important to believe in yourself. Regardless of what your parents, your spouse or significant other, your children, best friends, mentors, experts and students say – if you want to become a legend, follow Freddie Mercury’s example and believe in yourself.

Totally and completely.

Deal?!

(2) THE ALTER-EGO EFFECT

“You can be anything you want to be, just turn yourself into anything you think that you could ever be.”

Have you ever heard of the psychological phenomenon, the ‘Alter Ego effect’?

If not, here’s the gist of it:

An alter ego (Latin for "other self") is a second self, which is believed to be distinct from a person's normal or true original personality. A person who has an alter ego is said to lead a double life.

According to performance coach, Todd Herman, an Alter Ego allows you to increase your performance in business! How so?

Think about it…

Whether you know it or don’t realize it, you’re operating in your day with an alter ego – always. If you assume a different ego as a mother, father, boss, employee, etc. As such, you’re stepping into different stages of your life constantly: work, family, friends, public and private, and magnifying different parts of your personality to be successful in each of them.

The problem is, you’re more than likely allowing the fears, judgements of others and personal insecurities you have, to govern the actions you’re taking.

So, if you’d consciously create an Alter Ego for yourself as an entrepreneur, you can overcome all these road blocks so much faster and more efficiently.

How do you create an Alter Ego? Well, there are many ways to do so. It can be as simple as choosing to wear specific glasses throughout the day during work – or, whenever you do a call, FB live, etc. you put on a specific lipstick shade ;).

Freddie Mercury did the same by consciously creating his Alter Ego for the stage throughout his clothes. How will you do it? Leave a comment down below.

If you’re curious to read more about the Alter Ego effect, I recommend you check out Todd’s book here.

He also has this amazing program called, the 90 Day Year. I went through it twice already and loved it! In the program, he teaches you not only how to spike your performance as an entrepreneur but also, how to work way more efficiently. The program is currently closed but I recommend signing up to Todd’s waitlist to get notified and receive a free video training once he launches the program again ;).

To sign up for the 90DayYear waitlist, click HERE. 

(3) LOVE AND ENTREPRENEURSHIP

“I’m possessed by love, but isn’t everybody?”

Too often we are consumed by ego-centric questions like, “I want to hit that revenue,” “I’m afraid they don’t like what I have to offer,” “our operations need to improve,” etc.

They are all coming from the business’s and organization’s point of view and not, from the perspective of what is best for our customer and client. Surely, we care about them. But I want to advocate to care more about them <3.

To put our customers and clients experiences and results at the upmost importance to us, so much so that we think about this ninety percent of the time.

Because, if our customers and clients feel that we truly love doing business with them, this love, dedication and care will become amplified and success is unavoidable.

So, I want to encourage you that whatever it is that you do and create throughout your career, make sure to love what you are doing and for whom you are doing it for. Be in love with your market and niche, love your customers and clients, love your struggles as well as successes…

In the end, life is all about love, babe ;).

(4) GOAL SETTING

“I like to be surrounded by splendid things.”

What are some numbers that you’re trying to hit throughout your entrepreneurial journey and

Even when Freddie Mercury was still working at a packer at the London Heathrow Airport, he knew that one day he would like to be surrounded by splendid things.

He was always fighting, especially with his father about the kind of lifestyle he yearned to create. The thing is, if you also love the more splendid things in life, there is nothing wrong with it. It is totally okay and I encourage you to get clear on those.

Get clear on the goals that you have for your life and how you envision your ideal life to play out.

In case you feel like you need a little bit of help, to map out your goals for 2019, check out this free training masterclass that allows you to fully map out your 2019 Goals to guarantee you’re going to have the best year yet ;.

You can sign up for the free masterclass HERE to assure you set yourself up for success in 2019, even if you’ve struggled to hit your goals in the past <3. 

(5) CHARISMA

“The reason we’re successful, darling? My overall charisma, of course.”

If there is one thing that we can all agree on it’s that Freddie Mercury had one bombastic charisma. Now, I dug into this a little bit and interestingly enough, I found out that you can learn how to become more charismatic!

I love Vanessa VanEdwards‘ research on this topic and here’s an interesting interview where she shares the ‘5 Habits Of Exceptionally Charismatic People’. Which one was the one that was most surprising to you? Comment down below for a chance to win an Amazon GiftCard 😉

(6) ORIGINALITY TRANSLATES

“The whole point of Queen was to be original.”

Why originality? Originality translates into emotions. Emotions connect people.

There is so much noise online and all around us. So much noise. We experience a constant onslaught of the media, different people’s opinions and more.

In a world that has so much noise, how do you find your originality? It’s a question that I ask myself a lot because I believe that originality is a part of making your message go viral (if not the most important part of the recipe when we talk about a business’s message).

So, how can you be original? I recommend checking out my free guide, The 10 Ways To Craft Authentic Organic Content Online’.You will find some amazing tips on how you can keep your voice fresh and original online ;).

(7) BE 1000% COMMITTED

“When we began, we approached it the way we did because we were not prepared to be out-of-work musicians, ever. We said either take it on as a serious commodity or don’t do it at all.”

Did you know that there was a test that measured your commitment? If your jaw just dropped open than you’re like me a few months ago when I first found out about it.

Test are always fun, aren’t they? So, I thought I’d share this with me. Granted, Freddie Mercury surely did not take this test to ever measure his level of commitment because he was so one-thousand percent committed to Queen and their goals.

Regardless, I think with all of the shiny object syndrome all around us that often times come from consuming things online, it is a great idea to measure your commitment to find out if it could use some focus on our end.

Here is the link to take the test. The best part? It’s free.

Commitment Test: http://www.mydailymoment.com/app/quiz/userquiz/takequiz/152

(8) PURPOSE

“I love the fact that I can make people happy, in any form. Even if it’s just an hour of their lives, if I can make them feel lucky or make them feel good, or bring a smile to a sour face, that to me is worthwhile.”

Why do you want to be an entrepreneur?
Why do you want to grow your specific business?
What is your purpose?
What is the message you want to share with your tribe?
What brings a smile onto your ideal customers and clients?
What brings a smile onto your own face?
How do you want your ideal customers or clients to feel when doing business with you?

If you’ve never stopped and paused to answer these questions for yourself, I want to encourage you to do so right now. Grab your favorite notebook or your journal, lighten a candle, turn on some soothing music and off you go. Figure out these questions for you.

Note: There are no right or wrong answers. There are only those answers that feel like they are in alignment with you.

(9) MONEY

“Money can not buy happiness, but it can damn well give it!”

This is something that I absolutely believe in. Growing a business means that you have to grow your business revenue. This is something any business owner will always focus on.
If your revenue is not growing, your business is not growing.

Side note: You might find this article interesting that I wrote on how my team and I at FunnelGal hit the $20,000 in a month in revenue mark *yay*. Enjoy!

Read more here: https://corneliapauline.com/2017/12/24/true-behind-scenes-look-making-20000-revenue-month/

Now, the more money you personally make does not mean that your happiness will grow at the same rate. You are responsible for your own happiness and it is something that is fundamentally innate.

However, something that will definitely ignite your own happiness is if you give meaningful gifts and financial support to someone in dire need of it.

(10) ALLOW YOURSELF TO DREAM

“My soul has painted like the wings of butterflies,
Fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die,
I can fly, my friends…”

And now, after you’ve finished reading this post, go ahead and fly, darling <3!

Show us what you are made of.

Make your life count ;).

If you’ve enjoyed this blog post, be sure to SUBSCRIBE and get notified whenever I post a new article onto the blog. And if you’ve really, really enjoyed it  – be sure to share this post with your friends. I appreciate it and have a wonderful day <3.

30 Things I’ve Learned About Life Before Turning 30

Yesterday, I finally turned 30!

And boy, I’m feeling so grown up now ;).

But seriously, I’ve been sort of fretting this day for the past few months.

There is a lot of stigma that society puts on you for turning 30 – especially, as a woman.

Though little rebel that I am, I disregarded it as much as I could.

Instead, I wanted to focus on the things I was already able to learn in this life.

I love reading these types of posts that genuinely share another person’s experience with their readers.

So, in honor of my 30th birthday, here are 30 things I’ve had the honor to learn throughout my 30 years on this planet thus far.

Some of you might have already discovered them for yourself some, you might still experience, some might surprise you and some might make you laugh.

Enjoy <3!

  1. The term ‘success’ is subjective. Define it for yourself and don’t let anybody else’s definition of it define you.

  2. Love isn’t easy. If you think it is, you won’t ever be in a long-term relationship. Love is raw and real, hard and beautiful at the same time.

  3. If you’re trying to get somewhere by yourself – follow some goal – it will take you that much longer if you’re trying to do it all by yourself. It always takes a team effort to achieve any type of goal.

  4. Take risks. Embrace the fear that you feel before taking them. It won’t ever get any easier. But, the discomfort will serve as a reminder that whatever awaits you on the other side of that risk, is worth experiencing.

  5. Self-development is all about stretching those comfort zones. And damn, that can be hard. You will have to push yourself and it won’t ever get any easier either. However, you will develop stronger muscles to push through them. Practice. Don’t shy away from experiencing different things.

  6. Time is an arbitrary concept. Turning 30 and looking at how far I’ve come in my life compared to how much further I thought I’d be at this point when I was mere 20 years old, made me realize that to achieve things faster, you have to fail faster. You have to take faster actions. The action does not have to be perfect, though you do need to take it.

  7. Go through the process of elimination as fast as you can. There are SO many things in your 20s you think you want. You won’t know, unless you actually TRY them out. Say you think you want to become a digital nomad and travel the world, do it. Only then, will you realize if that lifestyle is something to strive for or, if you only want to experience it for a few months before settling down. Too many people spend a lot of time thinking they want something which they actually do not want, nor need.

  8. Self-awareness can not be learned. Self-awareness needs to be practiced. You need to fill up your time here on earth with experiences to learn faster about the kind of person you are and who you truly want to become.

  9. You can achieve anything in life if you stay focused on achieving it and continue to be consistent. Most people give up when it comes to the consistent part and because they seek instant gratification. Don’t. Realize that is is simple math. If you keep being consistent and make sure that you are making tiny progress every single day, there’s no way you wouldn’t get where you truly want to go.

  10. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It never is. Because you are you and you are unique in your experience of how you see the world. As such, the grass you are standing on right now is the only grass you should tend towards. Stop looking at other people’s grass’s 😉 .

  11. You can make a ton of money and still not be happy. Money does not equal happiness, nor the other way around. Money is just a tool, an energy, we use in this world. Knowing this, you want to make sure to find fulfillment and purpose through the kind of work that you do. Don’t do things just for the money. If you do, you will end up feeling depressed, unsatisfied and lost.

  12. Don’t follow your passion. Passions light up fast but can blow out just as fast. Follow the things you love. Love is what matters in all things in life and business, not passion.

  13. Practice not to make judgements based upon somebody’s appearance. Appearances can change and can be fake. There are many layers to a person. Focus more on learning about and uncovering those layers of a person than to judge them based upon their appearance.

  14. Prioritize the things that are important in your life. There are so many things that will pull you in different directions and distract you. However, you will turn 30 and 40 and 50 much faster than you can possibly perceive right now. Be sure to make the most out of every day and make time for the things that are important to you.

  15. Refrain from giving in to peer pressure if a situation doesn’t feel right to you. There’s no reason to do so and your true friends will respect your decision. Otherwise, you do not need those types of friends.

  16. Have the courage to stand up whenever you witness or face injustice. We need way more people like this in this world.

  17. Be kind. For if you are not, what purpose is there for being in this world?

  18. Dieting sucks and there are so many different opinions on how you should eat and live your life. Everyone is different and unique. Figure out what feels right for you and your body after trying out different things. Do more of that. You are the only one occupying your body, you know deep down what’s best for you.

  19. Do not push your opinions and truths onto other people. There are many truths. There is no point for that and it just takes away from the precious time that you do have in this world. If someone wants to learn more about your opinions and truths, they will ask you.

  20. Life is tough. It is not easy, especially if you want more out of life. Don’t be scared of it. Don’t shy away from it. Jump head first into the wild ocean that is life and learn to swim.

  21. The things that you are trying so hard to gain (if it is money, a romantic relationship, kids, etc.) are going to be too scared to come to you if you put too much pressure on obtaining them. Let things flow.

  22. There are different story patterns that are pre-determined and woven throughout your life. You will understand them looking back. Don’t try to figure them out in advance. Stick to what you can control and have faith that you make the right decisions.

  23. Chances are, you are severely underestimating yourself and the power that you have over changing your life (and other people’s lives) at any given moment in time. Believe in yourself more. Practice doing so.

  24. It’s okay to feel blue, alone and down sometimes. I do too. Quite often actually. The important thing is to let those feelings run through you and acknowledge them. Don’t shy away from them. Accept them but do not let them define you. You still have control over the types of actions you set each day.

  25. Life never works out the way you have initially planned and that’s how it’s supposed to be. There’s beauty in this mysterious uncertainty. Since you can’t control that, just relax into it.

  26. 99% of the things you worry about never happen.

  27. If you’ve been having a tough day, the best way to relax is with a great glass of red wine (or two), a great smelling bath (hello essential oils and Lush bath bombs <3) and a fantastic fiction book or movie.

  28. It’s important in life as well as business to pivot if things are just not working out.                                                                   

  29. It’s NEVER to late to change your life. I thought that because I would reach the 30 milestone and haven’t become a multi-millionaire yet, produced a movie or published several books, I was a failure. You are only a failure if you give up on yourself. Don’t ever do that! Even though you might be 40 or 50 or 80 already, there is still time to make different choices. Let’s do this!

  30. Travel! Until this day, I can best connect with people who have traveled or lived in different countries (or states) before in their lives. Reason being is that they are some of the coolest people that I’ve ever met and some of the most tolerant. They understand how small our own very unique experiences are in comparison to how vast the world is. The more you get out of your own ‘bubble’ you live in, the more you realize what life is all about – whatever that is. Hey! I’m just 30 and still searching ;).

Thanks for reading and be sure to share this blog post if you’ve enjoyed it <3.

P.s. You might also like: https://corneliapauline.com/2018/02/14/people-succeed-life-others-dont/

YOU CAN’T HAVE A RAINBOW WITHOUT A LITTLE RAIN. (CONTINUED)

In case you missed Part 1 of this short story, read it here:

You can’t have a rainbow without a little rain. (A Short Story)

Otherwise, here is how the story ends ;).

 

Tentatively I lifted up my left leg.

The tightness of my pencil skirt ruined my intention.

Saved again.

I laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation.

I didn’t really mean it.

I must not have meant it otherwise I would have already done it.

So what other choice did I have then to keep going?

Once I put my leg back down, I put the skirt back in place and straightened up.

My eyes searched for the stairway which I knew had to be somewhere around here. Once I found it, my body walked towards it willingly, without flinching even once while my mind screamed in protest.

I took each step one at a time, carefully balancing every single one on my high heels.

Tak. Tak. Tak.

It sounded throughout the fourth level of the garage.

I didn’t like the noise.

I felt as if it drew attention to me and I didn’t like to draw unwanted attention.

When I saw the signs for an elevator, I followed it almost immediately.

While walking by the first row of cars I got a good look at the rest of the garage. It was not even full. In fact, half of the spaces were still empty.

Why do I keep going? Why don’t I stop?

Because I had long ago admitted to myself that I hadn’t wanted to. Not really. Deep down I wanted to experience the excruciating pain of moving on.

The elevators were now to my right. I tugged my purse even tighter underneath my shoulder and proceeded.

My fingers were shivering lightly when I pushed the button that would lead me further towards my final destination. While waiting for the elevator, I watched the hand of my wristwatch progressing.

One second went by. Then another.

A total of forty-six seconds until I heard the bling of the elevator arriving. The doors opened up and I lifted my head. I froze and my heart started racing.

The man that stood inside the elevator only looked at me for a second before lowering his gaze. He too wore business clothing.

Black.

Like the leather couch in her room. I inhaled the thin air that engulfed us.

When the bling resounded for the second time, the doors closed.

Though before they closed completely, he lifted his head and I was staring straight into his emerald eyes. Eyes so similar to hers. I swallowed down the spit in my mouth and when I heard another bling after he seemingly pushed a button, the doors opened again.

It was then that I accepted my fate and stepped inside.

I breathed hard. I felt close to fainting but I knew I couldn’t escape, otherwise I would have done it a long time ago.

The bling resounded for the last time before the doors closed. With every passing second the elevator felt more and more like a cave to me.

At one point, I had the illusion that it pushed in on us, trapped us. I gasped and pushed one hand onto the ice cold metal wall.

You can’t.” I heard his familiar voice say.

What?” I barely whispered.

You can’t escape.” Tears burnt like chili paste behind my eyes but I couldn’t let them flow. I wouldn’t.

You never could,” he added. “Not now. Not ever anymore. Just like she couldn’t.

My head felt like it was going to burst. Like a machine that had gotten out of control and cold sweat started running down my spine.

“I didn’t know.”

You knew. People always do.” He turned towards me but I avoided his gaze. I just had to. “They just pretend not to.

You can’t…can’t say that.

And why is that?

“I…I loved her too.

Says who?

I still didn’t lift my gaze. “I…I do.

He let out a desperate laugh, so hollow that it cut my soul in half. “And what does that count for now?

Nothing,’ I thought but didn’t say anything.

Suddenly he lifted his hand. The hand came closer and closer. When he lifted his other hand, I knew what he intended. But I didn’t fight anymore.

I couldn’t.

He let out another one of those soulless laughters. “You wish. That would be too easy of a way to go for someone like you.”

I didn’t lift my hand to brush away one single tear that made its way down my face. My breathing had long changed from normal to barely there. It almost sounded like I was hyperventilating.

Love is something that only shows itself in actions. Words are meaningless to love. The same way you had been too meaningless to save her.”

I…I didn’t know.” I barely stumbled out loud.

People always know. They just pretend not to.” He said it in a trance like state when his hands finally reached my throat. He started to strangle me.

Maybe things would have been different when the bird hadn’t pooped on me and I had been on time.

But the thing is, it didn’t matter anymore.

Somehow – now – with his hands so tightly around my throat, for the first time in months, I felt relief.

I finally felt resurrected. That someone like me could be saved.

And when I gave up my inner struggle with every further breath I was still able to draw, I accepted it.

And accepting, I drew my last breath.

You can’t have a rainbow without a little rain. (A Short Story)

Part One.

The inspiration for this short story came while walking on a grey and gloomy November day during the streets of Vienna…Enjoy ;)!

 

A bleak streak of silver rushed through the clouds like a rare spec of light in a barren sky.

I lifted up my face and fell in line to the rhythm of the rain drops, taking one step after the other.

Dok. Dok.

My high heels clicked on the concrete floor.

Tik Tak.

I could hear the rain fall onto the windshield of my Chevy.

Tip. Tap.

I turned around to make sure that I had locked my car.

Beep. Beep.

I took a deep breath and moved further forward.

And that was when it happened as I lifted my head up towards the gloomy sky, watching the big white pool of… somethingness descend from the heavens.

Pluck.

I turned and looked over my left shoulder. A white spot had now begin to cover the left shoulder of my black blazer. My eyes widened.

Quickly, I gazed away and continued to stare into the rain.

I was late already.

So late.

And I did not even know what this next hour exactly had in store for me. I just knew I could not be late.

Why did this son-of-a-bitch bird just have to take a crap on me now? Right above me? Right now?!

I sighed.

It was one of those days. Those stereotypical days that started out like this or that and were oh-so-hard to turn around.

Of course, I knew very well that it all just had to do with me. I could have turned it around.

Could have.

Long ago.

I could have taken on a different route.

I didn’t understand for the life of me why I had just taken on this one.

Maybe I am a masochist?

Maybe it was fate?

I shrugged.

Why I was lead onto this one faitful road, I would always fail to understand.

That one road that appeared to be just so much rockier and uglier then all the other ones I had ever tried to walk on.

And how I failed, walking it with my head held high.

How utterly I failed.

Though I couldn’t fail anymore. I already did. And my fate had been decided on that one rainy afternoon.

Once I’d thought that walking was similar to breathing.

Easy and automatic.

But I’d never wanted to accept that while I was walking along my path, so many other things could happen to me… like a bird shitting on my shoulder when I was already late for something.

Something so important… I just couldn’t be late to.

I’m almost there!

Barely registering the shapes the clouds in the sky were taking on.

One by one they were forming into an ant and a bird and oh! “There was an elephant as well,” I thought.

I should go back to my car to open up the new box of leather seat cleaners that I’d bought a couple of months ago or at least dug around in my old bag for tissues.

But who am I kidding?

I much rather watched the clouds with the rain sprinkling on my face that gave me some sort of resembling feeling of being alive, then cleaning off dirty bird poop from my shoulder.

A thought shot through my mind. I dropped my shoulder bag and let it fall to the ground.

The black of the bag mixed kinda nicely with the grey of the street.

I unbuttoned my blazer.

One button after the next, until I had managed to free all three buttons.

One arm out of the blazer, then the other and the blazer glided to the floor. I didn’t care that it got wet. It had been too tight anyways. I hadn’t wanted to wear such a tight one but I didn’t have another one for the hearing.

When wearing the blazer, you were able to determine the exact curviness of my breasts and that was not always a good thing.

I sighed and bent down to pick up my purse. The leather felt wet now and somehow not as comforting as when I let my fingers glide over a smooth dry handle.

But nevertheless, it felt good to hold on to something. It always did.

Maybe that was one of the reasons why women wore handbags and guys put their wallets in their pockets?

To not feel so alone.

To know that they had some worth, depending on the dollar amount in their bank account.

Suddenly I could feel my nipples rising underneath the grey schoolgirl sweater and the blouse I was wearing underneath it. I started frowning. That could only mean one of two things.

I decisively walked back towards my car to grab my brand-new khaki anorak from the backseat. The cognac colored synthetic leather seats of the car were ripped at parts.

Molly had done that when she had been a puppy.

Suddenly I hoped she was alright, there where I left her. She knew the drill and I could always count on her.

Well, most of the time,” I thought when I looked at the disheveled fake leather.

I had liked this car once.

Lots of memories. Quite pleasant ones.

But now I didn’t like it anymore.

Like so many other things.

Life’s irony. Sometimes you didn’t know why you stopped doing things or seeing people or other stuff, because you just remembered the good things and forgot the bad ones.

The good times. The good memories.

Not that bad stuff. At least not the really bad stuff.

I guess people’s brains just erased things that were unimportant, that they could live without ever remembering again. Like part of some survival instinct.

Not me.

I always remembered the bad things. The things that I could have changed.

And then it hit me. And it hurt.

I lifted my chin after selecting the green ball of fabric out of the mess of all the things that were randomly thrown together in the back of my car. I put it on the way I always put on a jacket. Organized.

One arm after the other went were it belonged and after I was done, I pulled the jacket together and dared to take a look at my watch.

My heart didn’t even stop, even when I realized that I was already two minutes too late to the place where I had to be. I would have felt anxious a few years ago but not anymore.

I just didn’t care as much anymore even though it was the kind of thing you just couldn’t be late to.

I shrugged and walked towards the spot I had dropped my blazer at. I looked down and pondered about it for just a minute before I decided to move on.

It hadn’t been good enough anymore and in some way I should thank the bird.

I walked across the parking lot roof until I couldn’t go any further. I stopped right in front of the grey concrete wall. It only went up to my knees which seemed odd to me.

I bent a little further forward and looked down at the hustle and bustle of the street that seemed so far away. It was somehow quiet up here. You couldn’t smell the odor of the running engines or hear the honking of some driver who couldn’t control his emotions and got pissed off.

I put my hand over the place where my heart was and counted the beats.

Dadum. Dadum.

I felt it beating. Sometimes I forgot to feel it. Forgot, that I was the one who was still alive.

I took it for granted, that my heart beat and I was still able to inhale oxygen every single day in order to keep going.

Was that what gratitude felt like?

I doubted it because I didn’t feel grateful. Just astonished. When my ravished and torn body was the one that should be underneath the ground.

I pondered for a quick second if I should step up onto the wall that was about ten inches wide. I bent down even more to feel it. The cold concrete felt so seductively smooth underneath the palms of my hands and I started petting it the way I would pet my sister’s cocker spaniel.

Tentatively I lifted up my left leg…

– TO BE CONTINUED –

How do you think the story will go on?

What will happen next?

The Second Part is following shortly, so stay tuned ;)!

P.s.: In the meantime, you might also enjoy: https://corneliapauline.com/2017/11/20/1000-times-goodbye-the-sacrifices-of-an-expat/