30 Things I’ve Learned About Life Before Turning 30

Yesterday, I finally turned 30!

And boy, I’m feeling so grown up now ;).

But seriously, I’ve been sort of fretting this day for the past few months.

There is a lot of stigma that society puts on you for turning 30 – especially, as a woman.

Though little rebel that I am, I disregarded it as much as I could.

Instead, I wanted to focus on the things I was already able to learn in this life.

I love reading these types of posts that genuinely share another person’s experience with their readers.

So, in honor of my 30th birthday, here are 30 things I’ve had the honor to learn throughout my 30 years on this planet thus far.

Some of you might have already discovered them for yourself some, you might still experience, some might surprise you and some might make you laugh.

Enjoy <3!

  1. The term ‘success’ is subjective. Define it for yourself and don’t let anybody else’s definition of it define you.

  2. Love isn’t easy. If you think it is, you won’t ever be in a long-term relationship. Love is raw and real, hard and beautiful at the same time.

  3. If you’re trying to get somewhere by yourself – follow some goal – it will take you that much longer if you’re trying to do it all by yourself. It always takes a team effort to achieve any type of goal.

  4. Take risks. Embrace the fear that you feel before taking them. It won’t ever get any easier. But, the discomfort will serve as a reminder that whatever awaits you on the other side of that risk, is worth experiencing.

  5. Self-development is all about stretching those comfort zones. And damn, that can be hard. You will have to push yourself and it won’t ever get any easier either. However, you will develop stronger muscles to push through them. Practice. Don’t shy away from experiencing different things.

  6. Time is an arbitrary concept. Turning 30 and looking at how far I’ve come in my life compared to how much further I thought I’d be at this point when I was mere 20 years old, made me realize that to achieve things faster, you have to fail faster. You have to take faster actions. The action does not have to be perfect, though you do need to take it.

  7. Go through the process of elimination as fast as you can. There are SO many things in your 20s you think you want. You won’t know, unless you actually TRY them out. Say you think you want to become a digital nomad and travel the world, do it. Only then, will you realize if that lifestyle is something to strive for or, if you only want to experience it for a few months before settling down. Too many people spend a lot of time thinking they want something which they actually do not want, nor need.

  8. Self-awareness can not be learned. Self-awareness needs to be practiced. You need to fill up your time here on earth with experiences to learn faster about the kind of person you are and who you truly want to become.

  9. You can achieve anything in life if you stay focused on achieving it and continue to be consistent. Most people give up when it comes to the consistent part and because they seek instant gratification. Don’t. Realize that is is simple math. If you keep being consistent and make sure that you are making tiny progress every single day, there’s no way you wouldn’t get where you truly want to go.

  10. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It never is. Because you are you and you are unique in your experience of how you see the world. As such, the grass you are standing on right now is the only grass you should tend towards. Stop looking at other people’s grass’s 😉 .

  11. You can make a ton of money and still not be happy. Money does not equal happiness, nor the other way around. Money is just a tool, an energy, we use in this world. Knowing this, you want to make sure to find fulfillment and purpose through the kind of work that you do. Don’t do things just for the money. If you do, you will end up feeling depressed, unsatisfied and lost.

  12. Don’t follow your passion. Passions light up fast but can blow out just as fast. Follow the things you love. Love is what matters in all things in life and business, not passion.

  13. Practice not to make judgements based upon somebody’s appearance. Appearances can change and can be fake. There are many layers to a person. Focus more on learning about and uncovering those layers of a person than to judge them based upon their appearance.

  14. Prioritize the things that are important in your life. There are so many things that will pull you in different directions and distract you. However, you will turn 30 and 40 and 50 much faster than you can possibly perceive right now. Be sure to make the most out of every day and make time for the things that are important to you.

  15. Refrain from giving in to peer pressure if a situation doesn’t feel right to you. There’s no reason to do so and your true friends will respect your decision. Otherwise, you do not need those types of friends.

  16. Have the courage to stand up whenever you witness or face injustice. We need way more people like this in this world.

  17. Be kind. For if you are not, what purpose is there for being in this world?

  18. Dieting sucks and there are so many different opinions on how you should eat and live your life. Everyone is different and unique. Figure out what feels right for you and your body after trying out different things. Do more of that. You are the only one occupying your body, you know deep down what’s best for you.

  19. Do not push your opinions and truths onto other people. There are many truths. There is no point for that and it just takes away from the precious time that you do have in this world. If someone wants to learn more about your opinions and truths, they will ask you.

  20. Life is tough. It is not easy, especially if you want more out of life. Don’t be scared of it. Don’t shy away from it. Jump head first into the wild ocean that is life and learn to swim.

  21. The things that you are trying so hard to gain (if it is money, a romantic relationship, kids, etc.) are going to be too scared to come to you if you put too much pressure on obtaining them. Let things flow.

  22. There are different story patterns that are pre-determined and woven throughout your life. You will understand them looking back. Don’t try to figure them out in advance. Stick to what you can control and have faith that you make the right decisions.

  23. Chances are, you are severely underestimating yourself and the power that you have over changing your life (and other people’s lives) at any given moment in time. Believe in yourself more. Practice doing so.

  24. It’s okay to feel blue, alone and down sometimes. I do too. Quite often actually. The important thing is to let those feelings run through you and acknowledge them. Don’t shy away from them. Accept them but do not let them define you. You still have control over the types of actions you set each day.

  25. Life never works out the way you have initially planned and that’s how it’s supposed to be. There’s beauty in this mysterious uncertainty. Since you can’t control that, just relax into it.

  26. 99% of the things you worry about never happen.

  27. If you’ve been having a tough day, the best way to relax is with a great glass of red wine (or two), a great smelling bath (hello essential oils and Lush bath bombs <3) and a fantastic fiction book or movie.

  28. It’s important in life as well as business to pivot if things are just not working out.                                                                   

  29. It’s NEVER to late to change your life. I thought that because I would reach the 30 milestone and haven’t become a multi-millionaire yet, produced a movie or published several books, I was a failure. You are only a failure if you give up on yourself. Don’t ever do that! Even though you might be 40 or 50 or 80 already, there is still time to make different choices. Let’s do this!

  30. Travel! Until this day, I can best connect with people who have traveled or lived in different countries (or states) before in their lives. Reason being is that they are some of the coolest people that I’ve ever met and some of the most tolerant. They understand how small our own very unique experiences are in comparison to how vast the world is. The more you get out of your own ‘bubble’ you live in, the more you realize what life is all about – whatever that is. Hey! I’m just 30 and still searching ;).

Thanks for reading and be sure to share this blog post if you’ve enjoyed it <3.

P.s. You might also like: https://corneliapauline.com/2018/02/14/people-succeed-life-others-dont/

Under-evaluating yourself can result in never breaking through

It’s truly amazing how much a person can change within three short months.

For me, that change resulted in a brand new sense of who I was.

It resulted in a shift of how I perceived myself to be.

It changed my believe of what all I’m capable of accomplishing.

I feel like my whole life, I’ve spent most of the time in conversations with myself that resulted in criticizing me, putting me down and continuously asking myself why I wasn’t more ‘successful’ yet.

I know, I know…it sounds a bit extreme.

But it’s actually not as morbid as I make it out to be.

There were tons of times when I was grateful for everything I’ve achieved and who I was as a person.

I was – am – grateful because there is no one really like me, like you, like the person sitting next to you in that coffee shop.

However, I do want to focus on one particular aspect here in order to bring this essential point across.

So, stay with me.

Now, let’s continue…

At almost every stage of my life, I felt somewhat stuck.

I felt confused and lost.

I wanted to achieve more, always more.

I also wanted to give more but I wasn’t sure exactly WHAT.

Though, that wasn’t the worst part.

Do you know what was?

Finding out over these past three months and particularly while going on an extended trip through Europe and the U.S., that I was in fact capable of SO much more.

Why deep down have I always been so afraid and timid?

It’s a true miracle to find out that you are capable of achieving so much more once other people open up to you and are honest with you.

That is why I want to encourage you today to stop listening to yourself.

Yes, you read that right.

Stop listening to the voices in your head and their opinions of YOU.

Just once.

And just once, open your eyes and EARS and try to see and listen to how other people around you perceive you.

You will be surprised.

You will be fascinated.

In fact, I’m almost ready to bet with you that the surprise – of how much ‘better, stronger, more capable, smarter, etc.’ other people perceive you than you perceive yourself to be – will shock you even more then finding a secret ghost hiding inside your bedroom closet.

What is it about human nature that makes most of us undervalue ourselves and overvalue what other people are capable of?

That under-evaluation, misperception and complete lack of objectivity and self-awareness in who we actually COULD be if we just shifted the view we had about ourselves, baffles me.

It baffles me even more now that I have seen it hidden deep within myself – despite focusing on self-development for the past ten years and always trying to continue to stretch the confines of my comfort zone.

I want to encourage you to do the same.

I plead you to loose that negative self-image of yourself that you have right now in whatever specific area of your life.

It is THE single most important factor that decides if you become successful in any field – or not.

It really is just all about YOU.

Think about it.

Don’t just give it a fleeting thought but seriously go deep here and ponder on it.

Or, like me, go on an extended trip ;).

How do you really see yourself?

You, yourself.

And who are you really?

Objectively speaking.

The difference will be like a light switch that you flip around and that will turn on the ‘power of objectivity’ inside your mind.

And guess what?

Your heart and your newly found self-awareness will have brought you one significant step closer to everything that you ever wanted to achieve – and be.

Good luck!

How one plane ride to Hawaii changed my entire life

My hands were clammy.

I brushed them off against the fabric of my washed-out denim for the like millionth time.

I was nervous.

Not because I was stepping into the airplane to start my thirty-five-hour journey to Hawaii, but because I was leaving the place I was born in.

I was moving away.

Across the world.

By myself.

Some of my friends kept telling me I was crazy.

Why did I need to move 7,700 miles way, almost half across the world, to study something they couldn’t even quite pronounce ‘Anthropologie and Film Studies’ (truthfully, they knew film studies of course).
My father thought I was crazy too.

I was way too young with eighteen years old, he stated.

And, above that, a girl.

This statement as a self-confessed feminist always made me cringe.

He was old-school, my father.

Growing up during a time of poverty and hardship after the Second World War.

It had defined him and he did not trust new modern notions of how the world was supposed to work.

My mother was more supportive. Although, I could tell that it would break her heart – me moving away that is.

But there are certain times in your life where you just have to do what you have to do.

That time in my life, nine years ago, was certainly one of those times.

Sure, I could have made all sorts of different decisions and there were plenty of options for me.

However, something inside of me urged me on.

And it continued to urge me on until I could think of nothing else than my vision for my life for the next few years.

Whenever you reach a time in your life where you get this kind of conviction about something that you just need to do, some action that you need to take, don’t wait.

Don’t analyze it and try to figure out the why, or continue to doubt yourself.

Just go for it!

See what it is that you need to experience when taking that action and committing yourself to what your heart is telling you to do.
Every decision you make in your life, ever action you take and every reaction of yours is interconnected with each other.

They are there to bring you to a certain point in your life.

The here and now.

This moment.
The future?

Well, that is up to you.

But remember to always listen to yourself.

It won’t be easy.

If it would be then there is nothing for you left to learn or experience.

If you don’t feel challenged you won’t become stronger, nor wiser.

For me, that moment when I stepped into the plane was one of the most significant episodes of my life.

One anxiety attack after the other rushed through my young body, while I continued telling myself that I must be crazy for doing what I was doing.

Nobody else from my past environment had ever taken action to do what I was about to do (at least not at that point).

But that was exactly the reason why it was so important for me.

I felt that I needed to break out from what was comfortable to me.

I knew I needed to leave to be able to find myself.

And finally – even if I got the listening-to-myself-part down – I knew that I needed to learn to believe in myself too, in order to reach that vision I had for myself and my life.

I am still on a journey to get there.

And I believe, so might be you.

We all are.

But I am excited abut my life with all its ups and downs.

And so I wish, you are too.