How the concept of the ‘Upper Limit’ can be dangerous to entrepreneurs’ mindsets

Have you read this book? Oh, you must read it! It is awesome,” one of my entrepreneur friends said to me.

I glanced at the image of the book she sent me over Facebook messenger. It was ‘The Big Leap’ by Gay Hendricks.

Now, I have a love-hate-kinda relationship with this book.

When I first read this book, I truly liked it. I thought it was full of ground-breaking ideas and concepts. I heard about it while listening to one of Marie Forleo’s Youtube videos. I’m a fan of Marie Forleo and so, I trusted her and read the book.

In the video, she talked about the Upper-Limit concept. I was curious to find out what it was all about because at the time, it resonated with me and the consistent bumps I was experiencing in my business development cycle.

In case you haven’t read the book or, you need a reminder regarding the main message of the book, this is it:

According to Gay Hendricks, we each have a set point for happiness, he says, like the setting on a thermostat.

Whenever we reach beyond it, we unconsciously drag ourselves back down to the level we’ve gotten used to. We do this by making a mistake, getting sick, ruining a relationship, or finding another way to sabotage ourselves so we don’t exceed our set point for happiness.

According to Hendricks, we develop this set point based on old scripts from childhood and he refers to it as the “upper limit problem.”

Pretty interesting concept, right?

I am not denying that we are not unconsciously programmed in certain ways that goes back to childhood and adolescent experiences. I am also not denying that we carry a lot of these ‘programs’ with us and they influence the way we react to the world we’ve created around us.

Though, over the past four years of full-time entrepreneurship, I’ve found this book to be dangerous in many ways.

Yep. Pretty strong statement right there and I even feel a bit uncomfortable writing this because I am no Gay Hendricks *yet* but I want to explain to you why I – as an entrepreneur and business owner – think that the main message of the book is dangerous.

To explain this further, let’s dive into some truths about human psychology and our inner make up.

Our believes shape our worldview.

Yes? I think we can all agree with that statement..

Yes? I think we can all agree with that statement..

Now, if your belief shapes your worldview, then what you think not only about yourself but the world will shape your reality.

If I buy into this idea that is outlined in the book that to get to each NEXT level in my personal development, I am faced with hitting and working through some form of crushing Upper Limit – it will hold me back.

Heck, I’ve found myself simply finding excuses and explaining certain situations away by referring to them as, “Oh well, this is just my upper limit showing up so I will just have to take this slow. Etc.

What is worse is that I was even expecting to hit a block and either i.e. get physically sick or self-sabotage myself!

At every stage of my entrepreneurial journey that is.

How dangerous is that?

And not only that, I started to believe that growth has to be correlated with pain.

Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes, experiencing pain is essential to grow in specific areas. A great example for this would be going to the gym and reaching a certain body goal. That typically is connected with some form of muscle pain.

Though, if you expect that you are going to experience Upper Limits when you move through professional, business and life stages, you can also take this believe as an excuse NOT to act BECAUSE you know you will experience pain. And we humans, generally try to avoid pain.

Do you see where I am going with this?

Yes, there are many helpful passages in the book. It’s a well-written book, I am not going to negate that and you can certainly take some insightful concepts away from it.

But it is equally important to stress that how you are digesting the context of the book could be potentially dangerous to your self-development.

It can have a negative affect on your mindset based on how you choose to view and integrate the knowledge shared in the book into your overall believe system (as was the case for me).

Personally, I choose to believe that growth is something beautiful and even though, it always requires effort – which can be painful at times – it is also equally connected with joy AND fun.

My intention with this article is to help you understand that you can break through the regular ‘entrepreneur development cycle’ that consists of:

Take focused action.

See yourself making some progress.

Dream bigger.

Then, have yourself freak out internally about the progress you are making.

Self-sabotage.

End up where you started (or just a tiny bit further ahead).

THIS. IS. EXHAUSTING.

Let’s change this life-cycle and stop with the self-sabotaging already!

You are what you believe.

Choose to believe something else, something that will serve you better.

Believe in perfect timing <3.

In fact, believe that YOU have perfect timing. Always. And grow at a pace that feels right for you without ever ‘hitting’ any upper limits ever again.

How so?

Because whatever progress you are experiencing right now or, will experience in the future, YOU HAVE BEEN MADE FOR THIS.

As a result, this completely deflects and negates the concept of upper limits.

What’s your take on this? Would love to know in the comments down below <3.

P.S. You might also enjoy: https://corneliapauline.com/2018/02/14/people-succeed-life-others-dont/

7 surefire ways to get people interested in you online.

Why would you even want to know how to get people interested in you?

Simple.

If you are an entrepreneur or business owner of any kind, coach, author, consultant, etc. you need to start building up a tribe in order to create a community around your business.

This following will help you get amazing P.R. opportunities as well as help you monetize your tribe.

However, it all starts with first getting someone interested enough in you to find out more about you, right?

Now, you will be surprised but a lot of the time, it’s the same way you would get people interested in you in real life.

So, let me go through the different actions I have found that are important to get people interested in you online.

[1] Be open and honest as well as up-front with who you are.

This is not to say when messaging with people privately that you should sell them on your service or bestselling book, etc.

No.

What I mean is that your profiles online should be clear and inviting.

They should be an honest representation of who you are.

For example, think about your favorite fashion blogger. If it is a fashion blogger, guesses are they are mostly active on Social Media Platforms that attract audiences for this kind of industry.

Their profile will be mostly about fashion and show pics of them showcasing different outfits.

You know right away where you are at with this kind of person.

Next, think of an online entrepreneur or influencer. Chances are, they have promotions on their social media platform but it is also very streamlined in who they are.

Same goes for authors, athletes, etc.

Most of the time, you’ll find that you can fit online profiles into certain types of categories based on the pre-dominant interests a person has.

This is not to say that people fit into any one of those categories. By far not! We, as humans, are very versatile and there are a lot of layers to any given person at any given time.

Now, if you look at a profile and get confused as to what this person is all about or, the profile looks like there’s just not much happening, you are not able to establish a clear connection with that online persona.

[2] Show up.

It’s important that you show up on a regular basis (depending on what social media platform you want to use to get people to find you).

Why?

Because it instills trust.

It shows that you are a reliable, trustworthy person.

However, it’s not only important to show up.

It’s also important how you show up!

What is it that you are sharing? How valuable is this to your potential ideal audience?

You need to be conscious in terms of what you share and how this is of value to a potential fan.

[3] Choose the right platform.

If you desire to get people interested in you online, chances are very high that you’re already active on one or more social media platforms.

However, you’ve got to be careful which ones you choose that will help you potrtray the most authentic version of who you are.

For example, are you a natural photographer that has a good eye but are terrible with writing. You might want to focus your efforts on Instagram because this will allow you to put your best content and work forward.

Similarly, if you’re awesome in videos because you’ve got a shining presence and are not camera-shy, choose Youtube.

And the list goes on and on but I think you get my message.

Form of distribution matters as much as frequency of distribution.

[4] Stop looking at what other people are doing.

One of the surefire ways to be original and authentic is if you stop what other influencers and experts in your industry are doing.

People don’t like copies and phonies.

People are attracted to people that seem to be inventive and real.

[5] Use polarity to your advantage. 

This one tip of mine will create both fans as well as anti-fans to you and your brand online.

However, it is apparent to get people interested in you and what you have to say.

Think about it, no leader in the history of the world, no inventor and pioneer has been supported by a mass of people agreeing with him. Right?

Most of the time, it was only a small, loyal tribe that followed and agreed with his/her every word. A majority of the people though, strongly disagreed with his/her message and instead, talked against them.

As a result and in order to get people interested in you, you will also have to alienate a bunch of people along the way and that will be a natural process of moving along in this online visibility journey.

[6] Have a strong, clear message.

I can’t stress this enough but in order to have people interested in you, you need to create a strong, clear message around what it is that you are doing.

Give people something to believe in when following your content and messages online.

Otherwise, what’s the point?

There needs to be a purpose to things, a reason why you do the things you do.

[7] Share your story. 

This last point goes kind of hand in hand with the previous point.

Let me ask you something, what do you think is THE most unique thing about you that will make other people realize and see how unique you are?

Of course, I’ll tell you in case you haven’t guessed it yet ;).

It is your STORY.

What caused you to be at the point where you are right now?

What was the reason for transforming your life (or the wish to do so in the first place)?

Where were you a year ago and where are you now?

What are you struggling with currently in your life that you can open up about with your tribe?

And so on.

Dig deep, look at your past, connect the dots and tell us your story <3.

If you would like more information and find out specifically about the 4 reasons why you are not visible on Facebook, check out my new free PDF download. You can download it here: https://connectforentrepreneurs.com/free-guide

Let’s do this!

 

P.s. You might also enjoy: https://corneliapauline.com/2018/01/18/10-simple-ways-create-content-breeds-connection-aka-engaging-content/